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Misandry and Ethnic Identity amongst Spanish-Aztec descendents

2002 –
LATE JULY – EARLY AUGUST –

WE ATTEND A CONFERENCE AT LA JOLLA MISMALOYA, IN PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO ORGANIZED BY ISIL – INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY FOR INDIVIDUAL LIBERTY. THE RESORT PROVIDED A 9X11 BOOK ABOUT THE HISTORY OF MEXICO IN EACH ROOM FOR THE GUESTS TO PERUSE. UPON READING IT, WE DISCUSS THE HORNS OF A DILEMMA CONFRONTING A TYPICAL MEXICAN – DO I HATE MY FATHER FOR BEING A RAPIST? OR DO I HATE MY MOTHER FOR BEING SO WEAK AS TO GIVE IN RATHER THAN KILL HERSELF? I THINK THIS DILEMMA WOULD APPLY TO MOST, IF NOT ALL, SPANISH-AZTEC DESCENDENTS, INSIDE AND OUTSIDE MEXICO.

SEEKING RELIGION TO HELP SOLVE THE DILEMMA IS UNDERSTANDABLE.

BUT YOGA IS NOT A RELIGION. NOR IS IT ABOUT A RELIGION. MAKING ALLEGATIONS AND SPREADING RUMORS THAT IT IS A RELIGION MERELY PREVENTS A HUMAN BEING FROM HEALING THE BREACH BETWEEN HIS MIND, BODY AND SOUL.

CERTAINLY ITS IMPACT IS POWERFUL WITH REGULAR PRACTICE. THIS IMPACT IS NOT A MIRACLE. IN OTHER FIELDS OF ENDEAVOR MIRACLE AND SPIRIT-NONSENSE IS NOT ATTRIBUTED TO ACHIEVEMENT AND SUCCESS. WHY DO SO HERE?

2004 –
JANUARY 24, 2004 –

MY FATHER-IN-LAW DIES IN A KANSAS CITY BUS OF A HEART ATTACK WITHOUT ANY FORM OF IDENTIFICATION ON HIM. HE REMAINS UNIDENTIFIED FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE OF DAYS OR SO.
WE LEARN OF HIS DEATH A YEAR OR TWO LATER, WHEN MY HUSBAND ALSO LEARNS THAT HIS FATHER HAD TURNED CATHOLIC TOWARDS THE END OF HIS LIFE AND THAT HIS FATHER’S FAMILY LIVED IN AND AROUND THE CITY.

MARCH 2004 –
MOTHER SLIPS AND FALLS AT BORIVLI BUS STATION AS SHE TRIES TO GET ON TO THE BUS. SHE IS ABOUT TO TURN 60 YEARS OF AGE.

DRESS SIZE CHANGE FROM 8 TO 4; ACNE BREAKOUT ON BACK & CHEEKS; WENT COLD TURKEY INTO AN AYURVEDIC LIFESTYLE, BEGINNING WITH DIETARY CHANGES; SUCCESSFUL.

SOMEWHERE AROUND THIS TIME I NOTICED TEEL ENDING EACH CLASS WITH A ‘NAMASTE’ GREETING. I RESISTED RESPONDING BACK TO IT FOR QUITE A WHILE, AS LONG AS OTHERS DIDN’T FOLLOW HER LEAD. EVENTUALLY I GAVE UP – IT SEEMED RUDE NOT TO RESPOND IN KIND, AND A FEW STUDENTS HAD BEGUN RESPONDING IN KIND.

TEEL BROUGHT HER EXPERIENCE AS A MASSEUSE TO HELP US WITH OCCASIONAL OFF-DIALOGUE COMMENTS. MOST OF THEM WERE USEFUL SUCH AS CALLING OUT MY HABIT OF EXITING POSTURE #21 CAMEL POSE (USTRASANA) WITHOUT USING MY HANDS ON MY BUTT TO SUPPORT A SAFE EXIT. BUT ONE THING THAT BOTHERED ME A BIT WAS HER ANGER AND CONTEMPT FOR BIKRAM HIMSELF. UPON ASKING FOR A REASON, SHE MENTIONED THAT BIKRAM HATED WOMEN AND THAT HE WAS A MISOGYNIST. HE HAD TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF RAJASHREE’S YOUTH IN MOLDING HER TO HIS SPECIFICATIONS, ESSENTIALLY BRAIN-WASHING HER. I GOT THE IMPRESSION THAT SHE THOUGHT RAJASHREE CHOUDHURY WAS A DOORMAT.

LATE FALL, 2004 –
PARTICIPATED IN TEXAS YOGA COMPETITION IN AUSTIN IN LATE 2004, IN DECEMBER. AUSTIN WAS VERY COLD AS WAS THE VENUE ITSELF. NONE OF US COULD GET WARM ENOUGH. MOST OF THE TIME WE ALL HUDDLED TOGETHER IN ONE BIG ROOM PRACTICING, LYING AROUND, AND GETTING MADE UP FOR STAGE. THE NATIONALS WAS HELD THE FOLLOWING YEAR IN 2005. THE TEXAS RUN-UP TO THE NATIONALS WAS HELD LATER THAN ALLOWED BY THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION – IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HELD, LATEST, BY OCTOBER’S END, I THINK.

I WAS ONE OF ONLY TWO WOMEN OVER 40 YEARS OLD AT THE EVENT. DURING DINNER ONE OF THE JURORS COMMENTED THAT CAROLYN AND I WERE THE MOST GRACEFUL COMPETITORS, ACCORDING TO . AT THE TIME I THOUGHT THAT IT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I HAD SAID NAMASTE TO THE JURORS, HANDS TOGETHER AND A SLIGHT BOW, BEFORE BEGINNING MY ROUTINE. I HAD ADVISED CAROLYN TO TRY SAYING NAMASTE AT THE START OF HER ROUTINE BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T STOP EXPRESSING HOW AFRAID SHE WAS TO BE UP ON STAGE, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. AND THIS FROM SOMEONE WHO HAD THE MOST PERFECT PRACTICE I WAS AWARE OF FROM AMONGST THE EARLY MORNING YOGIS. I DON’T RECALL IF SHE OR IF SHE DIDN’T – BUT SHE CAME OUT OF IT CALMER THAN BEFORE.

WHY DID I SAY IT? MOST OF ME WAS WONDERING WHAT I WAS DOING COMPETING WITH ALL THESE SPECIMENS OF PERFECT BODY AND POSTURE! I HAD BARELY BEGUN MY PRACTICE. MOSTLY I WAS AFRAID OF FALLING OUT OF THE ONE-LEGGED BALANCING POSTURES. I HAD JUST BEGUN TO BE ABLE TO STAND ON ONE LEG IN MY PRACTICE (LESS THAN A MONTH, AND THAT TOO, NOT EVERY TIME).

SAYING NAMASTE DIDN’T HELP AT ALL.

I FELL OUT OF BOTH POSTURE #5: STANDING HEAD TO KNEE (DANDAYAMANA – JANUSHIRASANA), AND POSTURE #6: STANDING BOW POSE (DANDAYAMANA – DHANURASANA). WITH POSTURE #5 I FELL OFF COMPLETELY AND DIDN’T QUITE GET TO KICKING OUT THE LEG; WITH POSTURE #6 I WOBBLED MY WAY TO MY FULL EXPRESSION IN FITS AND STARTS. I HAVE A SENSE THAT I MIGHT HAVE FALLEN OUT OF IT, BUT THEN THERE IS A PICTURE OF ME IN THIS POSE SO I MUST HAVE HELD IT LONG ENOUGH FOR THE PHOTOGRAPHER TO TAKE A PICTURE. MAYBE I JUST EXITED THE POSTURE WITH LESS GRACE THAN I WAS PLANNING TO.

OCTOBER 2005 –
WENT TO SAN ANTONIO TO SEE BIKRAM AND RAJASHREE CHOUDHURY CONDUCTING 2-3 DAYS WORKSHOPS. ONCE AGAIN I DROVE WITH MY HUSBAND AS WE WERE STAYING AT THE RESORT FOR TWO OR THREE DAYS. IN ADDITION TO ATTENDING THE TEACHING SESSIONS THAT WERE OPEN TO STUDENTS OF ANY YOGA FLAVOR, I SPENT VERY LITTLE TIME WITH YOGA FRIENDS. MY HUSBAND RAN AROUND TOWN WITH OUR CAR. HE HAD NO INTEREST IN YOGA. AT OTHER TIMES WE WANDERED AROUND THE GROUNDS OF THE RESORT, ESPECIALLY ITS SHOPS TO SEE WHAT WAS ON OFFER. I DIDN’T FIND ANYTHING ATTRACTIVE TO MY POCKET BOOK. THERE WERE SEVERAL PERSONAL RELAXATION SERVICES ON OFFER BUT MY WALLET DIDN’T STRETCH THAT FAR.

I ASKED BIKRAM FOR COMMENTS AND ADVICE ON MY EXECUTION OF POSTURE #2: HANDS TO FEET, AKA, PADA-HASTHASANA. EVERYONE WAS DOING SO, AND ALL OF US FROM BIKRAM YOGA DALLAS THAT HAD TRAVELED TO SEE THE CHOUDHURYS HAD MADE SURE TO SECURE PLACES FRONT AND CENTER OF THE STAGE. ON STAGE HE ASKED ME TO DO THE POSTURE THE BEST I COULD. I DID SO. I REMEMBER HIM COMMENTING THAT HE DIDN’T SEE WHY I THOUGHT I NEEDED ADVICE – MY TORSO WAS TOUCHING MY THIGHS AND MY HANDS WERE CUPPING MY HEELS LIKE HE SAYS IN HIS DIALOGUE. MAYBE SOMEONE ASKED ABOUT THE FOREHEAD REACHING THE TOP OF THE FOOT EVENTUALLY. IN RESPONSE BIKRAM CAME CLOSER FROM THE FRONT TO GRAB MY HIPS, KEEPING MY BACK TOUCHING HIS LEGS AS HE USED HIS GRIP ON MY HIPS TO MOVE MY WEIGHT TOWARDS HIM AND MORE TO THE BALLS OF MY FEET, THUS ENGAGING THE FRONT OF THE LEG BETTER AND LIKELY LOCKING IT ALSO. (I DON’T RECALL FEELING MY KNEES LOCKED). I DON’T SEE HOW HE COULD HAVE MOVED MY WEIGHT TO MY TOES EFFECTIVELY IF HE HAD GRABBED ME FROM BEHIND. IF HE HAD DONE THIS THEN HE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO JUDGE HOW FAR TO MOVE BEFORE ACHIEVING ALIGNMENT OF THE LEGS. THE REAR APPROACH WOULD ALSO NOT ENABLE HIM TO STRAIGHTEN OUT MY BACK.

AFTER THE CLASS WITH BIKRAM CHOUDHURY THE NEXT DAY WE HAD RAJASHREE, HIS WIFE, TEACH THE CLASS. SMOOTH AS SILK AND TOUGH AS STEEL IS HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE HER. WITHOUT USING ANY WORDS, PHRASES OR THOUGHTS THAT WERE RADICAL OR REVOLUTIONARY IN ANY WAY. I FELT NO STRESS IN HER CLASS. THE STRESS IN BIKRAM’S CLASS CAME FROM THE ANTICIPATION OF BEING CAUGHT CHEATING AT A POSE, OR FALLING OUT, OR SOME SUCH BONE-HEADED ACTION. THERE WAS NO NEED FOR STRESS AS IT TURNED OUT. IN RAJASHREE’S CLASS, I FELT CALM AND YET I FOUND THAT A NEW VOICE HIGHLIGHTED NEW PIECES OF INFORMATION I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT. SO MY CLASS WAS STILL DIFFICULT – IN A GOOD WAY. THAT’S WHY I SAY, SMOOTH AS SILK AND TOUGH AS STEEL. SHE INCLUDED DESCRIPTIONS OF CERTAIN ALIMENTARY DETAILS THAT ARE AFFECTED BY DIFFERENT POSTURES, WHICH WAS ALSO INTRIGUING.

SO MUCH FOR RAJASHREE’S DOCILE CHARACTER! IT WOULD BE HARD TO MAINTAIN DOCILITY TOWARDS STUDENTS WHILE TEACHING THEM YOGA, WITHOUT INCITING OVERT AND COVERT DISOBEDIENCE. STUDENTS EVERYWHERE IN EVERY TYPE OF SCHOOL CAN BE HOOLIGANS IF CLASSROOM COMMAND IS NOT MAINTAINED.

TO THE WIDOWS AS PYTHONESSES


TO THE WIDOWS AS PYTHONESSES,

JUST BECAUSE YOU ALLEGE MY FATHER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HUSBANDS’ MISFORTUNES DOES NOT MAKE IT SO.

MY FATHER WAS TRUSTED BY NUMEROUS SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS IN ERSTWHILE BOMBAY AND PRESENT-DAY MUMBAI. OTHERWISE THEY WOULD NOT HAVE ALLOWED HIM TO SLEEP IN THEIR OFFICES AFTER HOURS.

EVEN AFTER THE EXAMPLE OF YOUR HUSBAND, UMANATH, WHO SOLD GOODS TO UNACCOUNTED CUSTOMERS, BUSINESS OWNERS IN THE AREA CONTINUED TO TRUST AND PAY MY FATHER AND HIS CLOSE FRIEND TO KEEP THEIR BOOKS FOR THEM.

– REGARDS!

Roosh, Ukraine TV with good and bad guys, & girls

As in the US so in Ukraine, Russians are used to portray the bad guys. Not in movies. But on popular TV chat shows. You see this towards the end with a couple of guys in the audience at 24.33 minutes in.

THEY ARE COMPLETELY WESTERNIZED.

MEANING THAT TO BE WESTERNIZED IS TO PASS THE BLAME ON THE FOREIGNER, THE LEGAL ALIEN, THE LEGAL IMMIGRANT, THE NATURALIZED CITIZEN THAT STICKS OUT.

IS THAT NOT A WONDERFUL MESSAGE TO SEND TO THE REST OF THE WORLD ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF WESTERNIZATION?

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, AS LONG AS YOU HAVE SOME LEGAL IMMIGRANTS WITHIN THE BORDERS, THEY ARE FODDER FOR ALL SORTS OF SACRIFICES?

I USE THE WORD ‘LEGAL IMMIGRANT’ DELIBERATELY. IN THE US IT IS EASIER TO BE AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT. IT GIVES THE GIRLS AND THE RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS AND EVANGELICAL GROUPS SOMEONE TO WHOM THEY CAN POINT TO AS THE BENEFICIARY OF TAXPAYER PROVIDED LARGESSE AS THE REASON FOR THEIR OWN CONTINUED EXISTENCE.

WIDOWS AS PYTHONESSES

THERE ARE TWO WIDOWS WHO ARE THE PYTHONESSES IN MY MOM’S LIFE IN INDIA. THEY ARE SISTERS-IN-LAW TO EACH OTHER.

FOR REASONS NOT CLEAR TO ME ONE OF THEM HAS TAKEN TO DRAGGING MY MOTHER FROM TEMPLE TO TEMPLE, FROM LOCAL TOURIST SPOT TO LOCAL ATTRACTION IN HER NICE A/C CAR, BUT REFUSES TO ACCOUNT FOR MY MOM’S SEVERELY STRAINED PHYSICAL RESOURCES SINCE HER STROKE. MOVING IN AND OUT OF CARS, SITTING IN THE BACK SEAT UNDER SOMEONE ELSE’S CONTROL, FEELING DOUBLY HELPLESS STRAINS HER SO MUCH THAT UPON HER RETURN HOME AFTER TWO OR THREE DAYS IN THEIR COMPANY SHE GOES INTO A DEEP DAY LONG REST WHILE MY FATHER AND MY SINGLE BROTHER RUN THE HOUSEHOLD.

THIS IS WHAT I THINK IS GOING ON.

MY LATE PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER HAS A BEST FRIEND. THIS FRIEND TRANSFERRED THE RESPECT AND REGARD SHE HAD FOR MY GRANDMA TO HIS FAMILY, INCLUDING MY GRANDMA’S ESTRANGED HUSBAND, MY PATERNAL GRANDFATHER. LET’S CALL HER BEST GRANDFRIEND. THIS GRANDFRIEND HAS TWO DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW AND ONE DAUGHTER STILL ALIVE. HER SON HAS DIED, HER NEPHEW HAS DIED AND HER SON-IN-LAW HAS DIED.

MANY YEARS AGO HER NEPHEW STOLE INVENTORY BELONGING TO A START-UP TRADING SHOP WHERE HE WAS EMPLOYED AND ALLOWED TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. HE DID THIS WHILE THE BUSINESS WAS CLOSED FOR THE DAY. THIS TRADING SHOP WAS A JOINT VENTURE BETWEEN MY FATHER, HIS BEST FRIEND AND THE FRIEND’S UNCLE. IT IS BACKED BY THE ELDER BROTHER OF THE FRIEND’S UNCLE. MY FATHER KEEPS THE SHOP BOOKS. THE OTHER TWO PARTNERS RUN THE SHOP. IT FAILED WITHIN ITS FIRST THREE YEARS. BY THE TIME THEY FOUND THE CAUSE IT WAS TOO LATE TO SAVE IT. THIS NEPHEW WAS NEVER PUNISHED FOR IT. MY FATHER AND HIS BEST FRIEND WERE WITHOUT JOBS FOR SEVERAL MONTHS AT LEAST.

THE NEPHEW WENT ON TO HAVE LAUNCH SEVERAL SUCCESSFUL ENTERPRISES, GOT MARRIED AND HAD CHILDREN, UNTIL YEARS LATER HIS BUSINESS WENT BANKRUPT. UNABLE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES, HE HANGS HIMSELF. HIS VENDORS, EMPLOYEES AND BANKERS WERE LEFT HIGH AND DRY. THEY WOULD NATURALLY PUT THE SCREWS ON THE WIDOW AFTER A DECENT INTERVAL WAITING FOR HER TO ARRANGE FOR THEIR REIMBURSEMENT. SHE ROPES IN BEST GRANDFRIEND’S OTHER DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AND THEY RUN THIS SCHEME WHERE MY MOTHER IS PUT ON PARADE BEFORE STRANGERS CLAIMING KINSHIP OF ONE KIND OR ANOTHER. THEY EVEN LET DROP HINTS THAT MY MOTHER SUFFERED A STROKE BECAUSE HER HUSBAND, I.E. MY FATHER, SOMEHOW CAUSED THE BUSINESS FAILURE IN REVENGE FOR THE BUSINESS LOSSES HE SUFFERED MANY YEARS AGO AT THE HANDS OF THE NEPHEW. SO TWO WIDOWS DRAGGING MY POOR MOTHER ON SOME VICTIM PORN PARADE IS THE RESULT.

MY FATHER IS RETIRED. HE WOULDN’T KNOW HOW TO CAUSE A BUSINESS TO SUFFER A LOSS. ALL HE KNOWS IS HOW TO KEEP BOOKS FOR SMALL BUSINESSES AND EVEN WHAT HE KNOWS IS OUTDATED. HE HAS NO CLUE OF THE TAX CONSEQUENCES NOR THE CONNECTIONS TO MAINTAIN TO AVOID SCRUTINY. OF COURSE ALL THESE CONVERSATIONS HAPPEN IN THE ABSENCE OF MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER. MY MOTHER IS A KIND SOUL AND RELIGIOUS IN HER WAY. SHE WILL NOT REFUSE TO VISIT A TEMPLE OR A CHURCH IF REQUESTED. IN ADDITION TO HER CHARITY IS THE HOPE THAT ONE MORE PILGRIMAGE WILL MAKE HER STROKE SYMPTOMS EASIER TO BEAR. DOES NOT HAPPEN. ALL THESE PLACES ARE FULL OF DEVOTEES WITH MEAN HEARTS WHO JUST LOOK TO APPEAR GOOD IN PUBLIC AND HOPE THEIR PUBLIC PIETY WILL SAVE THEM FROM ANY JUST CONSEQUENCES THEY DESERVE. TO COMPREHEND THE SOCIAL BASIS OF RELIGION IS BEYOND MY MOTHER’S POWERS. SO SHE SOCIALIZES AND TIRES QUICKLY. THEN DRAGS HERSELF UNTIL RELEASED FROM BONDAGE. HER FATIGUE MAKES HER VULNERABLE TO SUGGESTIONS FOR TRYING NEW DRUGS OR NEW NON-TRADITIONAL REMEDIES FOR PAIN OR NEW HEALERS. MONEY IS SPENT LATER BY MY FAMILY HERE AND IN INDIA. RESULTS ARE PITIFUL OR ABSENT. SHE ENDS UP DISAPPOINTED AND FORGETS HOW IT BEGAN, WHO CAUSED IT, WHO IS GUILTY AND WHO IS INNOCENT. WHAT A RACKET WIDOWS CAN RUN TO SHIFT BLAME AWAY FROM THEMSELVES!!!

THE NEPHEW WHO CAUSED IT ALL STILL GETS AWAY SCOT-FREE!!! HIS NAME WAS UMANATH. HIS SURNAME WAS EITHER NAIK OR NAYAK OR SOMETHING SIMILAR. I RECALL MY BROTHER PROMISING TO TELL ME MORE SHENANIGANS RUN BY THIS UMANATH LAST SUMMER, BUT WE FORGOT THE PROMISE WHEN I VISITED IN OCTOBER 2014. MIGHTY CONVENIENT FOR SOME, I GUESS!

PYTHONESSES REPRESENTING MY HUSBAND’S DIVORCED MOTHER

PYTHONESSES REPRESENTING MY EX-MOTHER-IN-LAW CHASING MY HUSBAND FOR HIS ATTENTION OR LEGACY, WHATEVER COMES TO HAND:

NUMBER ONE.

MRS. KOELPIN AKA THE MOTHER.
OVERWEIGHT, ENJOYS GIVING BIRTH TO POPULATE HER LOCAL CHURCH WHERE HER HUSBAND PRETENDS TO LEAD. ENJOYS THE STATUS IT GIVES HER TO BE STILL PRODUCING CHILDREN AT HER AGE, BE A PASTOR’S WIFE, ETC. SHE PREENS ON THIS MORAL STATUS ENHANCEMENT AS DOES HER HUSBAND. I THINK THEY ARE TRYING TO OUTDO THE ROMNEYs IN STYLE IF NOT IN SUBSTANCE. ON JUNE 22, 2013, THE DAY I WALKED OUT OF MY MARRIAGE, UPON MY RETURN FORCED BY AN INSANE TRAFFIC JAM TO PASS BY THE FRONT OF THEIR HOUSE, I SAW HER ENTER HER HOME IN A RED BIKINI WITH HER KIDS ALL LEAVING AFTER PLAYING IN THOSE CHEAP INFLATABLE POOLS IN THEIR FRONT YARD. THIS WHEN THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD CITY RUN SWIMMING POOL A BLOCK’S WALK FROM THEIR HOUSE. THIS WHEN THEIR HOUSE FRONTS A FAIRLY BUSY STREET – THEIR HOUSE IS AT THE TOP OF THE RISE IN THE STREET. ALL VEHICLES PASSING THIS POINT ACCELERATE BECAUSE IT’S ALL DOWNHILL FROM THERE.
DOES SHE NOT CARE ABOUT HER KIDS GETTING KILLED? NAH! YOU SEE SHE WANTS TO CLOSE THE STREET TO TRAFFIC, IF WE ARE TO GO BY THE FACT THAT THE KIDS KEEP PLAYING ON THE STREET. MEANWHILE THE HIGH SCHOOL ACROSS FROM THE SWIMMING POOL IS BARRED BY ANOTHER BUSY STREET, WHERE I HAD AN ACCIDENT. BUT WHAT DOES SHE CARE ABOUT SUCH THINGS! IT’S NOT IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE. NOR IS IT AT THE BACK OF THEIR HOUSE. I’VE STOPPED DRIVING DOWN THIS ALLEY FROM THEIR END TO AVOID ACCIDENTALLY HITTING ONE OF THEIR BRATS. YOU SEE THE HUSBAND LIKES TO EAT LUNCH WITH THEM IN THE DRIVEWAY ADJACENT TO THIS ALLEY. ONE IS AFRAID TO HONK IN CASE A BONE GETS LODGED IN THE THROAT WITH SURPRISE. ONE IS AFRAID TO DRIVE PAST FOR FEAR OF BEING TOO FAST AND BLOW DUST OR TOO SLOW AND INTRUDE ON THEIR LUNCH. BUT THEN PUTTING OTHERS ON THE HORNS OF A DILEMMA IS WHAT THEY DO BEST.
ALL THE YEARS I HAVE LIVED IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD NEVER ONCE HAS SHE COME TO TALK TO US. SHE DROPS OFF CHRISTMAS GOODIES AT ALL HOMES’ DOORSTEPS ON OUR STREET, YET SHE RUNS AWAY WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR TO WISH HER CHRISTMAS GREETINGS. IS SHE AFRAID THAT I AM NOT AN IGNORANT MEXICAN WOMAN TO BE TAUGHT WESTERN WAYS? OR WORSE YET, A HINDU AND A HEATHEN? OR IS IT SOMETHING ELSE ALTOGETHER? AS I WRITE THIS TIMELINE OUT MONTH BY MONTH, THE MOST LIKELY ANSWER WILL EMERGE.

NUMBER TWO.

SAFIA KHALIL
I WAS WARNED ABOUT HER BY AT LEAST TWO WOMEN BEFORE BECOMING ROOMMATES WITH HER. THE CLEAREST WARNING ABOUT HER WAS THAT SHE WAS MANIPULATIVE. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT. THEN A BOYFRIEND WARNED ME ABOUT HER “BEHENJI” TENDENCIES. IN THIS CONTEXT “BEHENJI” MEANT MANIPULATIVE, BUT THIS DUDE COULD NOT ARRIVE AT THE CORRECT TERM, SUCH WAS HIS ANTIPATHY FOR THEM. SHE USED TO BE MARRIED BUT GOT A DIVORCE AFTER HER HUSBAND LEAVES THE US IN FRUSTRATION UNABLE TO FIND A JOB AS AN ARCHITECT. SHE CITES MENTAL CRUELTY AS THE REASON FOR HER PETITION. I RECALL THE DISCUSSION – HER LAWYER, A WOMAN, ADVISES HER THAT SHE HAS TO PUT SOMETHING AS A REASON, AND THAT THIS WAS THE MOST DEFENSIBLE REASON TO USE. SHE CONTINUES TO RECALL HIS ACTIONS ON BEING PRESENTED WITH UNPALATABLE FOOD. LIKE A LITTLE BOY HE WAS, SHE SAID. HAVE YOU SEEN SAFIA WHEN PRESENTED WITH UNPALATABLE FOOD? ASK THE WAITERS AT THE RESTAURANTS IN UPTOWN DALLAS. THEY’D TELL YOU. A FUSSIER EATER YOU WILL NOT MEET. AT LEAST HER EX-HUSBAND WAS RUDE IN THE PRIVACY OF THEIR HOME. IT WAS HIS HOME, WASN’T IT? THAT WAS THE ONLY INSTANCE OF CRUELTY SHE COULD COME UP WITH.
HER ATTITUDE TOWARDS MY HUSBAND IS EVEN WORSE. WHEN SHE MEETS HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 1997 – 1998, SHE FINDS HIM UNWORTHY OF HER ATTENTION. IN THIS SHE FORESHADOWS THE REACTION OF BINA POLLACK nee NUNIA YEARS LATER. TO SUSAN ROTH SHE COMMENTS THAT I HAD SETTLED FOR WHAT I COULD GET. THIS PAST DECEMBER WHEN I MEET HER HERE IN DALLAS, SHE BARELY STOPS HERSELF FROM CALLING HIM A TERRORIST AND WORSE. TO MY KNOWLEDGE THEY HAVE NOT MET SINCE THAT FIRST TIME IN 1997-1998. HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT HE IS LIKE NOW? HE REMAINS UNFAILINGLY POLITE IN COMPANY AND UNREMITTINGLY OPEN WITH ME ABOUT HIS NEEDS IN PRIVATE. AS HE WAS WHEN WE FIRST MET IN OCTOBER 1995.

NUMBER THREE.

DELTA DENNIS
SHE WILLINGLY SHOWED HER PICTURE AS AN OBESE WOMAN TO MY HUSBAND BUT NOT TO ME – SINGLE MOM – INVENTOR OF WEIRD YOGA POSES PRACTICED WITH HER YOUNG FIVE YEAR OLD SON EARLY IN THE MORNING – FRIENDSHIP LASTED UNTIL MY HUSBAND STARTED ASSERTING HIMSELF CONVERSATIONALLY UPON WHICH SHE SHUTS HIM DOWN WITH CONDESCENSION – KEPT TRYING TO INCITE MY LUST FOR DARK, DANGEROUS MEN (I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE ENLIGHTENING HER, SEEMED A BORING TASK – NOT INTO TRAINING BABIES, I AM) AND REFUSING TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. SIMILAR TO SAFIA KHALIL IN THE WAY SHE TALKS OVER YOU WITH HER POINT, NOT CARING IF IT WAS RELEVANT OR NOT.

NUMBER FOUR AND FIVE.

NANCY AND THE ZOMBIE-EYED HIPPIE
TWO LANDSCAPE ARCHITECTURE STUDENTS FROM MY CORNELL DAYS CALLING ME A BAG LADY FOR CARRYING ART SUPPLIES IN PLASTIC BAGS TO NEST MY STUDIO SLOT IN JANUARY 1990. THEY MUST NOW WANT TO CALL DELTA A BAGGY LADY FOR LOSING WEIGHT WHILE THEY ARE BOTH NOW FAT IN BODY AND MIND. TWO LESBIANS THROUGH LACK OF OPTIONS IN THE DATING MARKET – DRIVING THEM TO ESPOUSE HYPER FEMINIST VIEWS. THE ZOMBIE-EYED HIPPIE SOMETIMES GAVE IN TO HER BASER NEEDS AND THEN RECOUNTED THE EXPERIENCE TO NANCY THE LANDSCAPE ARCHITECTURE STUDENT. WITH THE APPROPRIATE PAUSES FOR ORGASMIC SIGHS. I WAS THERE DURING ONE SUCH CONVERSATION. IT WAS STRANGE TO LISTEN TO THEM TRY TO PROTECT MY DELICATE SENSIBILITIES. DID THEY FORGET I WAS FROM INDIA, THE SECOND MOST POPULOUS COUNTRY AT THAT TIME? WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM, DID THEY THINK?

NUMBER SIX.

MARIANA
A SELF-PROCLAIMED MEDICINE WOMAN WITH HER STORIES OF MYSTIC POWERS OVER SUNDRY ENEMIES, SHE FED HER LIVE-IN BOYFRIEND, STEAKS AND ROASTED GARLIC, COFFEE AND CIGARETTES. THE DUDE GETS STOMACH ULCERS AND DOCTOR RECOMMENDS EATING VEGGIES. MY LAST DAY THERE AS I PACK TO LEAVE THEY WALK IN WITH TONS OF SALAD GREENS AND OTHER GREEN VEGETABLES. I RETURN THEIR HOME KEYS, WISH THEM WELL AND LEAVE. MONTHS LATER I LEARN THEY’VE BROKEN UP. SHE’S ALL BROKEN UP ABOUT IT. AT A PARTY WHERE I HEAR THIS SHE SEEMS TO PLEADS WITH ME TO INTERCEDE ON HER BEHALF WITH HIM TO TAKE HER BACK. I AM NONPLUSSED. THE ONLY THING I HAD IN COMMON WITH HIM WAS THAT WE HAILED FROM INDIA SOMETIME IN THE PAST.

NUMBER SEVEN AND EIGHT.

TRICIA CHANCELLOR AND MYRA CANTERBURY
THESE TWO WOMEN WHO THREATEN ME IN THE WOMEN’S RESTROOM AT THE END OF A CLASS TO FORCE ME TO TELL THEM WHY I WAS RETICENT AND RESERVED. THEY MISSED MY SMILES – MADE THEM FEEL VALIDATED SOMEHOW. SHADES OF THAT SHORT GUY AT UT-ARLINGTON WHO THREATENED DIRE CONSEQUENCES IF I WASN’T NICE TO HIM. BUT THESE SISTERS MADE SURE NO ONE WAS AROUND TO WATCH THEM THREATEN ME.

Art and Religion in Richardson, Texas

DECEMBER 2014 –

I NOTICE THE INTERSECTION OF GREENVILLE WITH SPRING VALLEY – CENTENNIAL. I KNEW THAT TO THE NORTHWESTERN CORNER LAY THE ISLAMIC CENTER (THAT ALSO DOUBLES UP AS THEIR MOSQUE).

BUT NOW I TURN TO LOOK TO MY LEFT AS I WAIT AT THE LIGHT TO TURN GREEN. ON THIS SOUTHEASTERN CORNER, THERE IS A HUGE FRICKING SKELETONIZED GLOBE WITH A 1.5 TO 2 TIMES AS LARGE UNSKELETONIZED CROSS THROUGH THE EARTH, THE WHOLE LEANING TOWARDS THE NORTHWESTERN CORNER TOWARDS THE ISLAMIC CENTER.

IF THE CROSS WAS IN FRONT OF THE GLOBE I COULD TAKE THAT TO MEAN THAT THEY CONSIDERED ISLAM TO BE THE THREAT TO EARTH AND THAT CHRISTIANITY WAS ITS ONLY SOURCE OF PROTECTION. BUT THIS CROSS WAS STABBED THROUGH THE GLOBE, A GLOBE WITHOUT ANY LAND SURFACE, JUST A GRID APPROXIMATING LATITUDES AND LONGITUDES. THE CROSS WAS WHOLE – NO SKELETONIZATION. BY THIS I MEAN THERE WAS FRAME AND PANEL TO FORM IT. THE GLOBE, THE EARTH, WAS JUST FRAME, OR SKELETON, OR BARE BONES WITHOUT PANELS.

I CONSIDERED DRAWING IT AS PROOF OF ITS EXISTENCE BUT I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE SKETCHING SOMETHING THAT IGNORANT AND INSANE!

MAKE OF IT WHAT YOU WILL!

RECORDED JANUARY 13, 2015

About that SwamiNarayan Girlfriend

TO CONTINUE WITH THE TALE OF THE SWAMINARAYAN GIRLFRIEND BEGUN IN THE PREVIOUS POST

IN THE CAB I WAS MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH HANDLING THE GUY NEXT TO ME. I KEPT TALKING TO HIM AND ASKING HIM QUESTIONS OF WHERE HE WENT TO SCHOOL, WHAT WERE HIS PLANS FOR THE FUTURE, AT THE SAME TIME TELLING HIM MY PLANS AND WHAT I WANTED TO DO. HE GAVE UP TRYING TO COP A FEEL AND WE JUST HAD A DECENT CHAT ABOUT BEING STUDENTS. I DON’T KNOW WHAT WENT ON WITH THE SWAMINARAYAN GIRLFRIEND TO MY LEFT. ONCE I SAW HER LOOK AT ME, SO I TRIED TO ENGAGE IN CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY TO HER LEFT. HE IGNORED ME AND PERSISTED IN DRAWING HER ATTENTION. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS.

THE CAB REACHED HALFWAY UP TO MIDTOWN BOMBAY WHERE WE WERE ABLE TO CATCH OUR TRAINS HOME. THE BOYS DROPPED US OFF AND TOOK THE CAB BACK SOUTH TO THEIR HOMES.

LATER ON THIS GUY CAME TO SEE HER AT JJ ONCE OR TWICE, SO I FIGURED THAT SHE LIKED HIM WELL ENOUGH.

ISKCon shenanigans, Ayn Rand’s warnings and AllThatCricket, PART 1

A bodycon outfit, made of some sort of T-shirt material, its effectiveness requires wearing thong style undies, which is what I was shopping for when I slipped and fell in the mall. Apparently it was really really necessary that I hide the gains I had achieved with my own hard work. In the days after my husband and I walked to the voting center and voted as we usually do and I wore tall boots with socks to protect my twisted ankle in spite of the unseasonal Texas November heat. On our return we marked a patch of curing concrete sidewalk with both our initials, embellished with hearts and Gayatri!

A bodycon outfit, made of some sort of T-shirt material, its effectiveness requires wearing thong style undies, which is what I was shopping for when I slipped and fell in the mall. Apparently it was really really necessary that I hide the gains I had achieved with my own hard work. In the days after my husband and I walked to the voting center and voted as we usually do and I wore tall boots with socks to protect my twisted ankle in spite of the unseasonal Texas November heat. On our return we marked a patch of curing concrete sidewalk with both our initials, embellished with hearts and Gayatri!

 Posture #25 Spine Twisting Pose and a Smile

Posture #25 Spine Twisting Pose and a Smile

I recall my cricket loving brother telling me about the English Cricket Captain pissing on Lord’s after winning the Ashes against the Aussies and the Australian Captain laughing with irony – this is what you get when you promote brown skinned second or even third generation to captaincy based solely on ability and talent, without knowing their soul – if they actually accept the charge laid upon them to represent England in all its glory. Yeah! The English Cricket Captain had Indian (from India) ancestry.

How do you know someone’s soul? How about hanging out with them in a bar to drink and get to know them? If they don’t drink, that’s a tell. Alcohol ain’t bad for you in small amounts. I personally can drink a small drink depending on the company I’m in.

With only family members I am very comfortable anywhere – they know my limits.

With a mix of family and strangers, I have to be outdoors in cool to cold weather to enjoy a drink.

With childhood friends, I can drink if we are in a cool to cold place in a hyper dense city where walking is THE MODE of TRAVEL.

With architectural peers of a certain type, I can drink with them in some situations.

With roommates from my days as a foreign student in the US, NO.

– The one from my time at UT – Arlington – SHE DON’T DRINK, SO CAN’T TRUST HER!

– The one from my time at Cornell University – SHE FROM NEPAL, FELLAS! BROTHELS IN MUMBAI ARE POPULATED BY NEPALI GIRLS WHO WILLINGLY FOLLOW STRANGE ALPHA MALES VISITING THEIR PRISTINE HINDU VILLAGES INTO A NIGHT OF FREE PASSION FOLLOWED BY A LIFETIME PAYMENT PLAN. NOW THERE WERE AT LEAST TWO MAJOR CITIES BEFORE YOU GOT TO BOMBAY (MUMBAI), NAMELY, NEW DELHI (THE NATIONAL CAPITAL) AND CALCUTTA (CAPITAL OF BRITISH INDIA). SUPPLY – DEMAND DYNAMICS.

– The one from my time at OU – Norman – ONE KICKS ME OUT FOR INSUFFICIENT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT AND MANY YEARS LATER IMPLIES THAT MY DEAR HUSBAND IS BENEATH THE CLASS AND STATUS OF HER LAWYER HUSBAND AND HERSELF; THE OTHER IS FROM PAKISTAN, A DEVOUT MUSLIM* SO NO ALCOHOL, AND MANY YEARS LATER IN 1997 – 1998 CONSIDERS MY HUSBAND BENEATH ME.

With colleagues, NOT AT ALL.

With strangers, I WON”T ENTER THE ARENA.

IN ANY CONFLICT BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL, THE STRONGEST WILL ALWAYS WIN! I don’t say it. Ayn Rand said it. And I believe it! She demonstrates it in quite a few of her essays!.
USUALLY EVIL IS STRONGER THAN GOOD. THE GOOD WILL WILLINGLY DIE FOR A CAUSE, BUT THE EVIL WILL FIND A WAY TO LIVE – TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY!!!

FIRST –
MY IMAGINARY DIALOGUE WITH THAT WOMAN WHO OPENED THE DOOR TO THE MURDERERS OF THE EDITORIAL AND CREATIVE STAFF OF CHARLIE HEBDO!
MAY THEIR SOULS REST IN PEACE!

Friday, January 9, 2014
The shooting deaths of key editorial and creative staff at the Paris office of Charlie Hebdo by a couple of Muslim terrorists crying “Allah-o-Akbar” in protest against the publishing of cartoons of Muhammad, founder of Islam, is the capstone of the reach of a certain type of woman – those that enjoy power for its own sake. Let me see here: The cartoon rag published satirical pieces on all topics as they should. They satirized women, oh yes, they satirized woman, the partnering type equalist woman, along with politicians, social workers, and anyone else who got a bit too arrogant in their hubris. Yet their sales only increased when they published cartoons of Muhammad. Sure they were in the business of pointing fingers at hubris-intoxicated people including women, especially those who enjoy being the power behind the throne. But one’s got to feed the staff, run the presses, buy the computers, maintain the software updates (let’s not even go there, especially with women programmers developing newer and newer features to go with the basic model – my short experience with Microsoft’s subscription based Office Suite, augmented by #gamergate as I understand from the Reaxxion website) and numerous other tasks involved in running a daily satire publication.
I recall reading early yesterday morning that the editor admitted that even when they publish satire on other topics they find that those on Islam and Muhammad to be the ones that get the most readership and advertising dollars. So you go where the money is! Yet today I was looking for that comment and couldn’t find it. It’s been removed, edited out, white-outed, call it what you will.
Another thing I noticed this morning is that pictures of all the journalists and cartoonists on the staff who were all shot dead is no longer there. I assumed them to be all homosexual – just their faces and its expressions. But now it seems the editor had a girlfriend – but looking at her face I ain’t surprised that they were no more than partners. She looks, not grief-striken, but full of that I-told-you-so expression that women have when their dependents (children or adults) don’t heed their warnings. Apparently he didn’t want children because of his work. Maybe she did want them? Still, the fact that she didn’t steal his semen to impregnate herself is some small consolation. Imagine the publicity to be availed from raising and grooming the child as some sort of defiance!

Saturday, January 10, 2014
Early this morning in bed I recalled that the secured main door to the Charlie Hebdo offices was opened to the terrorists by a female employee who had just dropped her child off somewhere. She could see that these two men were armed with guns and yet she punched in the code to the door. She enabled them to enter the offices without any of the men hearing or knowing about it.
Sure, if she had resisted they would have shot her. But I understand that French citizens have an active hatred for terrorists of any creed. They have a history with such things.
Alright, she is responsible for her child, so she opened the door. Why? Is there not a father or a co-parent responsible for the child? No?
Is she then a single mom? Yeah? Could she not have lied? Frozen in place? That’s what I do when I am scared! That’s what a normal non-combatant citizen does in such situations. Put their hands up and hide or lie flat on the ground or against the wall. Did her fingers not tremble in punching the code? Mine do, every time I type in the password to my fricking online accounts.
You say you know the door code very well, because you have punched it many times. So you were not really scared were you? You hands didn’t trouble and mistype the code even once? If it had, it would have sounded alarms somewhere, either inside the office itself or at the security company and the police station where such errors are automatically sent.
If it had rung inside the office, then the editor could have done something. Threw a fricking ink pen used for drawing cartoons. (I have them. They are pointy. In fact airlines don’t allow them in planes.) Not just died without fighting. After all he had made it his life’s work to satirize terrorists, politicians and other people in power, including women. Is that your beef? He satirizes women.
Leave or make fun of him. Ah yes, you can’t because you are a single mom. We are back to where we left off.
So you are a single mom able and allowed to leave work and return for personal business. Don’t know your position in the office. If you are a receptionist then don’t you know you are supposed to leave someone at your desk to cover for you in case a customer comes in? What? You don’t care about customers? But they make it possible for you to be paid a salary.
More importantly you were able to type the code in such a terrorizing situation – two obviously armed men, Islamic jihadists no less, without a single mistype. And you survived. They didn’t kill you.
They did kill the lone policeman on the pavement who actually threw himself at their mercy, didn’t they? Or did I imagine that too? Ah, yes. He was a Muslim policeman. He was on the other side. What other side?
I rest my case.

Meanwhile I read that the two (now augmented to three) terrorists are still being sought ardently by everyone. I wonder if a certain Pythoness of my acquaintance is protecting them.

The Face of The Pythoness

First Lady of Kalachandjis: lame, dragging her feet, but full of energy.
Preservation-crazy girlfriend: overweight, demands help in carrying her luggage from me. Much taller than I.
Middle-aged Indian woman in the aisle seat on my row, on outbound flight to Mumbai in October 2014, overweight, makes life difficult with her spicy food eating and her obstruction of exit to the restroom and her scheming with passengers in the back in throwing my spectacle cover (with my husband’s name on it) behind my seat, then offers to get me sweets and tea as compensation. She reminded me of that Shippie girlfriend from Sir JJ. Shared the same shape of face. And facility with traveling back and forth between the US and India. Only someone from India who had lived long enough in the US and had access to funds could do so, especially at her age.

Except for the First Lady of Kalachandji’s at the very top the rest below aspire to be her, if only they had her practice being lame and demanding sympathy and support! Sigh!

All so far are overweight with serious knee and feet problems, with an innate preference for dominating other people to one’s own ends with no regard for the others’ best interests.

In the past, ISKCON was sued for sexual abuse of children in their boarding school. You can read all about that if you search for it online. Our Randian friends recall the days when they would seek vegetarian food in Dallas and go to the Dallas ISKCon center, namely, Kalachandjis, and find free food being offered with attendants aggressively demanding donations. The attendants could not even pronounce the name correctly while demanding these donations, so these friends always call this restaurant by the name, Kaalaaganges! Hilarious! On a serious note, this underlines the need for proper pronunciation if you are pitching Eastern absolution in return for donations.

A Canadian acquaintance recalls that these restaurants would serve food cooked in ghee! When I told her that they now serve food cooked in olive oil in response to customers and devotees concern for gaining fat, she asked ironically if that still made the food they served blessed by their acclaimed lords. If yes, then how does Krishna like food cooked in olive oil. If not, then how is the restaurant in any way special from any other such facility attached, say, to a church or a mosque. I suggested that maybe the food offered in the temple is cooked in ghee. That brings up the interesting question of how do they pay for all this deity food being cooked in ghee! Maybe only food offered as what they call ‘prasadam’ was cooked in ghee? Again how do they keep this separate from the general daily food available in the devotee/aficionado/prospect dining hall at the back? I was stumped.

From personal experience eating food cooked in both mediums I can attest that food cooked in ghee is calming while that cooked in olive oil is not. I am still stumped. When I recall the behavior of the devotees, I am not surprised if the deity food is also cooked in olive oil. None of them exhibit the calm and rational mind of a true devotee – the men are either Machiavellian or scatterbrained in their behavior, the women spend all their time chanting the Hare Krishna mantra, increasing repetitions as and when needed. I have met only one women who was not constantly chanting but she had a resigned and fatalistic approach to life. All of this points to the fact that none of them eat food cooked in ghee! They likely don’t know how to make ghee!

I must admit that it is an art to be practiced daily with deep attention and a rational mind. I find that sometimes I have to use more ghee than others and the quantity depends on how much conflict I can handle at a given moment. There are those who thrive on conflict – these do not need ghee at all. There are those who develop scatterbrained awareness – these need lots of ghee. The ones who are called upon to resolve conflicts will need moderate to plenty of ghee depending on the conflict they are being asked to resolve. Why the heck do you think ancient temples in India are so expensive to run if they are to fulfill their role of enlightened healing to a people who come from so many different castes, creeds, languages and cultures!

I have already outlined the role of ISKCon from 2002 onwards in our lives. I have barely scratched the surface of their role in deliberately misleading minds about the most crucial idea in Hinduism and that is this: A good Hindu does not shirk from seeking knowledge even if doing so upsets the social, religious or political sensibilities. There is no need to visit temples, there is no need to read the scriptures, there is not even any need to maintain dietary restrictions. But the one thing you must not do is deliberately seek to remain ignorant, or intentionally obstruct your mind from seeking the truth by taking refuge in mystical pronouncements. This applies even more to those who prevent others from seeking knowledge, with the excuse that it goes against some revered tradition, religious or otherwise. Here’s some more information along these lines.

1970 –
RECURRING HIGH FEVERS, DIZZINESS EVEN WHEN LYING PRONE – WOULD HOLD ON TO BED FRAME TO AVOID SENSATION OF FALLING.

1971 –
HIGH FEVERS RECUR ONCE A YEAR AT LEAST – FAMILY DOCTOR* PRESCRIBES POWERFUL DOSE TO KILL IT QUICKLY, VIZ., KNOCK-OUT PUNCH, FOLLOWED BY A WEEK TO TWO WEEKS OF RECOVERY. *AT THIS TIME THE DOCTOR BELONGED TO AN OBSCURE VAISHNAVITE SECT CALLED SWAMINARAYAN – I RECALL A BLACK ‘N’ WHITE PHOTO HUNG OVER THE INNER DOORWAY TO THE CLINIC – AND LIVED WITH HER WIDOWED MOTHER, IN FEALTY TO A LOVER MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN IN OBEDIENCE TO CLAN PRESSURES.

1972 –
HIGH FEVERS WITH RASHES CONTINUE; SKETCHED THE FILM ACTRESS PUBLISHED WITH BLOG POST TITLED, “AYN RAND’S ROMANTIC MANIFESTO: INSTALLMENT 7″.

1973 THROUGH 1976 –
RECURRING HIGH FEVERS, WITH SEVERE RASHES AND INFLAMMATION; REMEMBER ONE TRIP TO FAMILY DOCTOR’S PLACE OF BUSINESS AND HAVING TO WAIT AN HOUR WHILE PATIENTS LINGERED TO GOSSIP, EVEN AFTER BEING TREATED, ONE OR TWO CUTTING IN AHEAD AND WATCHING MY NORMALLY EASY-GOING MOM GETTING ANGRIER AS MY FEVER KEPT RAGING HIGHER AND I GOT DIZZIER. I HAD TO LIE DOWN ON THE BENCH, TAKING UP MORE ROOM THAN NECESSARY AND THUS PREVENT OTHER PATIENTS FROM PLACES TO SIT AND WAIT THEIR TURN.

1977 –
TONSILS REMOVED TO PREVENT FREQUENT TONSILITIS RECURRENCES. FEVERS DID RECUR LESS FREQUENTLY, ALTHOUGH FAMILY DOCTOR DIDN’T THINK REMOVING TONSILS WAS A GOOD IDEA; DRAWING CLASS ASSIGNMENT ON BOUGAINVILLEA FEATURED IN BLOG POST, THAT HIDDEN SKETCH, COMPLETED.

1978 –
SKETCHED THE PITEOUS DAMSEL FEATURED IN BLOG POST, THAT HIDDEN SKETCH.

1979 / 1982 –
I BUILD UPON MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL GAINS OF MY TORTURED PAST, A PAST THAT INCLUDED BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED AS A CHILD LET ME REMIND YOU, TO LAY THE FOUNDATIONS OF MY FUTURE.

LOTS OF READING, LOTS OF SKETCHING. SOURCES INCLUDE BOOKS, MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS AT HOME AND IN CONSULATE LIBRARIES IN DOWNTOWN WHEN I LEARNED HOW TO GET THERE MYSELF.
WHO TAUGHT ME? MY FATHER DID! WE SAT BY THE WINDOW ALL THE WAY TO CHURCHGATE STATION ON SUNDAY. MY CRICKET LOVING BROTHER WAS WITH ME AND HE HELPED ME TO NOTICE WHEN A STATION ARRIVED, IF HE SAW ME GET DISTRACTED BY NEW PEOPLE AND PLACES I SAW. FATHER MADE ME RECORD EVERY STATION AS IT PASSED SO I COULD LEARN THEM BY ROTE. AND TELL WHERE I WAS AT EVERY MOMENT. GOT TO KEEP THE GIRL FREE AND SAFE, YOU KNOW! SHE WAS HIS ONLY TIE WITH HIS OWN MOTHER!
LOTS OF LISTENING TO WESTERN MUSIC, BEGINNING WITH SONGS POPULAR LOCALLY, AND THEN MOVING ON TO SHORT WAVE RADIO STATIONS FROM ABROAD, SUCH AS THE UK, AUSTRALIA, THE US, AND SWEDEN. THE LAST WAS FAINT, ONLY HEARD FOR HALF AN HOUR, DEEP IN THE NIGHT AROUND 2 AM OR SO. LEARNED TO LOVE ABBA THEN. THAT ENDED WHEN I DISCOVERED THE WEEKLY MUSIC CHARTS. THEN LIKE ALL TEENAGERS I TOO GOT INTO KEEPING TRACK OF WHO WAS WHERE IN THE PECKING ORDER.

NO TIME TO SLEEP! THERE WAS WORK TO BE DONE! MY FUTURE LAY IN MY HANDS! COULDN’T LET THAT GO TO WASTE OUT OF FEAR OR COWARDICE! EVEN WHEN I HEARD MUSIC THAT MY BOLLYWOOD TUNED EARS DISLIKED! I TOOK IT AS A SIGN THAT I NEEDED TO LEARN NEW TYPES OF MUSIC, EVEN IF THEY SOUNDED LIKE SCREAMING OR CRYING OR WHATEVER. THIS IS MY PRESENT. LET’S LIVE IN IT! BESIDES MY CULTURE HADN’T EXACTLY BEEN NURTURING SO FAR, HAD IT? OUTDATED KNOWLEDGE! OUTMODED HABITS! LOTS OF POWER STRUGGLES AND PLAIN EVIL!

1982 / 1983 –
WENT TO FAMILY DOCTOR LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO HELP ME STAY AWAKE TO FINISH ONE OF THE MANY ARCHITECTURAL STUDENT ASSIGNMENTS. SHE REFUSED WHICH WAS EXCELLENT AND STRONGLY RECOMMENDED THAT I QUIT THE PROGRAM. APPARENTLY HER YOUNGER SISTER HAD STUDIED ARCHITECTURE BEFORE MARRYING SOME INDIAN IN THE US (New Jersey) WHO HAD SUFFERED SLEEPLESS NIGHTS COMPLETING ASSIGNMENTS IN COLLEGE. IT WOULD BE DELETERIOUS TO MY HEALTH :)

THIS AFTER SEEING ME SUFFER THROUGH NUMEROUS HIGH FEVERS WITHOUT BATTING AN EYELASH! IT SEEMS TO ME THAT BEING AN ADULT INVOLVES TAKING RISKS AND TESTING AND DEVELOPING ONE’S JUDGMENT, WHILE A CHILD STILL NEEDS TO SEE SOME EVIDENCE OF FAIR PLAY AND JUSTICE.

I WISH SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO OFFER ME A CAB RIDE A YEAR LATER, WHEN MY ARCHITECTURE SCHOOL SWAMI NARAYAN FOLLOWING GIRLFRIEND AND I WERE TRAPPED AT CHURCHGATE STATION BECAUSE THE BOMBAY POLICE DECIDED TO RIOT THROUGHOUT TOWN PROTESTING AGAINST THEIR INHUMAN LIVING AND PAY CONDITIONS. (ALL TRUE BY THE WAY, WE WERE ASKED TO DESIGN SOMETHING ECONOMICAL FOR THE HAVALDARS, THE BEAT COPS (FOR YOU LONDONERS) AS ONE OF OUR DESIGN PROJECTS THAT FIRST YEAR.) THEY BELONGED TO THE SAME RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY, DIDN’T THEY?

SHE AND I STARTED OUT ALONG THE RAILROAD TRACKS. I KNEW THAT LED STRAIGHT HOME. MY FAMILY TAUGHT ME THAT. SO WE SET OUT. SOMEWHERE AROUND THE OPERA HOUSE AREA SHE BEGINS TO CHAT WITH SOME YOUNG PARSI BOYS. I KEEP MY DISTANCE FROM THEM. SHE STARTS FLIRTING WITH THEM. THEN THESE BOYS TRY TO PERSUADE US TO LEAVE THE TRACKS. I DESIST, BUT SHE TAKES THEIR SIDE IN THEIR PLAUSIBLE ARGUMENT THAT THE RIOTS HAD NOT EFFECTED THEIR AREA, A POSH PEDDAR ROAD – NAPEANSEA AREA WHERE BOMBAY WEALTHIES HANG OUT!!! I DIDN’T RELISH WALKING ALONE ALONG THE TRACKS. I HAD MY OWN PAWING EXPERIENCES WALKING ALONG THEM DURING DAYLIGHT IN MY FAR NORTHERN SUBURB, AT LEAST AN HOUR BY LOCAL TRAIN. WHO KNOWS WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN AT NIGHT TIME!!!

SO WE WALK HALF WAY ACROSS TOWN IN A WESTERLY DIRECTION, WHAT DO WE FIND, PRECIOUS-ES? BURNING CARS, PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND, BURNING BUSES, RANDOM HOODLUMS WITH BATONS IN THE DISTANCE TO UNDERLINE THAT THE DANGER HADN’T YET ENDED. IT WAS DARK BY NOW. SOME STREET LIGHTS BURNED BRAVELY. THE REST WERE BROKEN. NO CABS THAT STOPPED FOR US! A FEW STOREFRONTS WERE BROKEN. SO WE FOLLOWED THESE PARSI BOYS WHO CLAIMED THEY KNEW THEIR WAY AROUND THEIR OWN NEIGHBORHOOD. WE TWO GIRLS HAD NO CLUE. I START GETTING MAD AT MY SWAMI NARAYAN GIRLFRIEND!!!!! I TELL HER LET’S TURN BACK, WE KNOW WHERE A STATION IS. WE CAN HANG OUT THERE. THERE’LL BE OTHER COMMUTERS LIKE US THERE. BUT SHE CONTINUED TO FOLLOW THE BOYS. I WAS SURPRISED AT HER. WHEN I HAD STAYED OVERNIGHT AT HER PLACE SHE HAD TRIED TO CONVERT ME TO HER FLAVOR OF HINDUISM, MORE TRUE THAN THE REST OF US. AS DID HER ARTIST FATHER THE NEXT MORNING AT BREAKFAST. THANKFULLY HER MOM, RESIGNED TO HER HUSBAND’S 24-7 SALESMAN TACTICS AND HER WISER OLDER SISTER LEFT ME ALONE. ANYWAY, HERE WAS MY ARCHITECTURE SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND WHO KNEW AND PRACTICED BHARAT NATYAM BEAUTIFULLY*, FOLLOWING STRANGE BOYS SHE HAD NEVER MET EVEN AS WE KEPT SEEING MORE AND MORE DESTRUCTION AROUND US.

EVENTUALLY WE FOUND A CAB THAT WOULD GO IN A NORTHERLY DIRECTION. SO WE SET OFF. THE BOYS OFFERED TO PAY. WE HAD NO CASH. I LOOKED AT MY RELIGIOUS GIRLFRIEND RESIGNEDLY – THIS WAS A TRANSACTION. DID SHE REALIZE IT? NOPE SHE DIDN’T! SHE AGREED WITH A SMILE. …..

WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENS WHEN YOU FOLLOW AROUND EVANGELICAL TYPES IN THE US AND IN INDIA?

COME BACK IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS! I MIGHT FEEL GENEROUS ENOUGH THEN TO ENLIGHEN YOU ALL SOME MORE …

MEANWHILE CONTINUE TO FOLLOW THE HARE KRISHNAS, THE SWAMI NARAYANS AND OTHER BRAND OF EVANGELICALS FROM ABROAD. THE ONES HERE IN TEXAS ARE EVEN MORE DANGEROUS! WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE FAST LEARNERS. THEY ALREADY KNOW ALL THIS AND ARE USING IT TO SCARE YOU ALL INTO NOT PURSUING PRACTICAL EDUCATION IN SOMETHING USEFUL BESIDES RELIGIOUS AND SECULAR ACTIVISM, DEBATING AND BASKET WEAVING!!!!

*THE PAKISTANI IS BACK HERE IN DALLAS – OLDER, SUCCESSFUL, IN BIG PHARMA, SHE MOVED HERE SOMETIME IN NOVEMBER 2014. SHE NOW VEERS BETWEEN INSULTING MY HUSBAND AND BEING FRIGHTENED OF HIM, HATES PUTTING ON HER SEAT BELT AS A PASSENGER BECAUSE ITS HURTS HER ‘INDIAN’ PRIDE. SHE’S BEGUN TO CALL HERSELF AN INDIAN AFTER WORKING THERE FOR FOUR YEARS. I AGREED TO REKINDLE OUR FRIENDSHIP THINKING TO MAKE HER FEEL WELCOME TO DALLAS, BUT BEING WITH HER HAS BEEN PROVING TO BE DANGEROUS TO MY LIFE IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.

Bikram’s Posture 25, aka, Spine-Twisting, aka, Mystery Pose, aka Half-Fish

A bodycon outfit, made of some sort of T-shirt material, its effectiveness requires wearing thong style undies, which is what I was shopping for when I slipped and fell in the mall. Apparently it was really really necessary that I hide the gains I had achieved with my own hard work. In the days after my husband and I walked to the voting center and voted as we usually do and I wore tall boots with socks to protect my twisted ankle in spite of the unseasonal Texas November heat. On our return we marked a patch of curing concrete sidewalk with both our initials, embellished with hearts and Gayatri!

A bodycon outfit, made of some sort of T-shirt material, its effectiveness requires wearing thong style undies, which is what I was shopping for when I slipped and fell in the mall. Apparently it was really really necessary that I hide the gains I had achieved with my own hard work. In the days after my husband and I walked to the voting center and voted as we usually do and I wore tall boots with socks to protect my twisted ankle in spite of the unseasonal Texas November heat. On our return we marked a patch of curing concrete sidewalk with both our initials, embellished with hearts and Gayatri!

KILLING THE ALPHA MALE – ISKCON STYLE

Why this title? ISKCON seems to have maintained a relentless campaign against Bikram yoga ever since I began my back-to-back challenges in its practice in 2008.

What is ISKCON? I point you to this web page I’ve saved. Hopefully they are and will still be there when I post this installment.

It is updated and current only till 2008, because at that time the lawsuit filed by Children of ISKCON against ISKCON was settled with money, that most likely went to the lawyers and maybe some key children.

BUT HERE’S MY POINT: ITS HISTORY, ITS ACTIVITIES, THE GUILTY, THE INNOCENT AND THE SCAVENGERS, ALL OF IT IS AVAILABLE IN ANY ISKCON CENTER FOR ANY OF ITS NUMEROUS MEMBERS, PAST OR PRESENT, FOR VIEWING. SHOULD THEY HIDE IT? ABSOLUTELY NOT. THAT’S WHAT’S CALLED THE PUBLIC RECORD! SO ANY ONE, RICH OR POOR, CONNECTED OR ALONE, CAN, WILL AND DOES USE IT FOR WHATEVER PURPOSE THEY DEEM USEFUL.

FINALLY HERE IS THE REALLY STRANGE THING – ISKCON, THE ACRONYM STANDS FOR INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY FOR KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. SO IT SHOULD REALLY BE WRITTEN AS ISKCon, WITH ‘ON’ NOT CAPITALIZED. THEN IT WOULD READ CORRECTLY, WOULDN’T YOU SAY?

Unfortunately, the word ‘con’ is more Western than my family in India would grasp. I don’t think I would have grasped it if I still lived in India. So this ISKCon continues to play havoc everywhere. Filing lawsuits and winning them in the US courts may have rebuilt those sexually abused children’s lives. I don’t know. But its evil continues to thrive and prosper. Because those children who filed the lawsuit did not fully understand why they were being abused. Until they do, I suspect it will continue to spread its evil message. With India rapidly modernizing, adapting and changing I suspect that ISKCon’s game will continue for quite a long time.

So whenever I would go back to visit my growing family in India and I would cajole them or lecture them on using Bikram yoga to live better lives, when I still hear the following lament —
I DON’T HAVE TIME!
I CANNOT LEARN ALL THIS BY ROTE!
I CANNOT BEND MY BODY!
I CANNOT ABSORB THIS NEW INFORMATION!
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THIS HIGHER SELF!
I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS HIGHER SELF!
ALL THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME!
WE DIDN’T SEND YOU ABROAD TO LEARN THIS CRAP!

–I KNOW TO SUSPECT VERY EVIL MINDS AND HEARTS THAT HAVE NO INTENTION EVER OF INTEGRATING INTO ONE HIGHER SELF, LET ALONE A FAMILY OR A COMMUNITY OF HIGHER SELVES! WOULD YOU AMERICANS TAKE ON THIS JOB? YOU ARE THE MOST POWERFUL NATION ON EARTH! YOU HAVE THE MONEY AND THE RESOURCES! IF YOU WANT TO TURN YOUR BACK TO THE WORLD LIKE DURING THE FIRST AND SECOND WORLD WARS, THINK AGAIN! HISTORY DOES NOT PROVIDE GOOD EXAMPLES OF WHAT CAME OUT OF IT FROM THOSE OSTRICH LIKE BEHAVIORS!

—AS FOR YOU EVANGELICALS, WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOUR AGENDA IS, DON’T WE?

Now I never made this connection until I adopted an increasingly selfish perspective. Selfish as in the Randian sense. Go look that up! This is the connection I did not make over all those visits since 2008, when I quit my job and took the vow to my husband in that evil temple in East Dallas called Kalachandji’s or Hare Krishna temple or the local ISKCon center, take your pick!

A Simple Chant for Lost Souls
In his beginning …
Lies our end …
Says our Leader “Lady and Her Lord’s Feet”
We can’t reveal her name
Except through his name
We glorify her as
His legal guardian
But we leave him to be
An eternal child,
Stealing with a smile
So we chant Har-e-Krishna non-stop
So we invoke he who destroys
Ere we invoke he who manages
What? Interpretation of the Lord’s Song

Leader “Lady and Her Lord’s Feet” aka Srila Prabhupada, or as someone there once commented about he names of the leaders in the movement, “they all have the word, ‘pada’ at the end of their names. ‘Pada’ in Sanskrit means ‘foot’. As for ‘Srila’ I can certainly invent a meaning, but I won’t because I have too much respect for knowledge. The word ‘Prabhu’ though means ‘Lord’.

Har-e-Krishna can go anywhere you want to, backwards, forwards or even jump into Islam. Again I don’t know. But I do notice that if you chant ‘Hare Krishna’ long enough you will hear ‘Krishna Hare’ in your mind. ‘Har’ is another word for Lord Shiva. ‘Hari’ is another for Lord Krishna. So I guess that ‘Hare’ can be conjugated as ‘Har-e’ which in Urdu, I believe, means ‘Har’ and ‘e’, meaning ‘Lord Shiva and’. But this last is only a belief because I do not speak Urdu. I am from Bombay, aka, Mumbai. Most Hindi and Urdu speakers think very ill of a Bombayite’ or a Mumbaikar’ Hindi or Urdu speaking ability. Ask anyone from outside this city and they will share this opinion and much worser things about someone raised in Bombay, aka, Mumbai. How do I know this? I have heard it said to my face and behind my back from numerous friends and some roommates as an international student in the United States.

As for the Lord’s Song, that’s the Bhagavat Gita or Bhagavad Gita, the book mentioned by ISKCon. The trouble is that ISKCon neglects its entire context in the Mahabharata, about how that terrible fratricidal war could have been avoided if any of the wiser elders had exercised the ounce of courage they purported to possess. As usual they left it to the children to fight the war begun by long dead ancestors. But then ISKCon does not care about the whole truth! Their interest lies in ephemeral earthly power, a very conditioned approach to eternal truth.

Now let’s get to the penultimate Posture, Posture #25, aka, the spine-twisting pose, aka, the big puzzle pose. Why is it the big puzzle? Because it is only repeated once, unlike all the other poses so far. Bikram doesn’t know because he never asked his Guru, Bishnu Ghosh. He didn’t ask his Guru because he didn’t know that he would never see him again. He didn’t see him again because his Guru died before Bikram could report back to him on his progress in teaching the split Western spirit how to take the Western mind and the Western body and integrate them into the higher Self, aka, atma , aka, alma , aka, the Soul. Except that this Soul is not a universal / global / multinational / united nations type of soul. It is your own personal Soul reflecting what it can see dimly of itself in that mirror you’d call your mind, but that is clearly shown in your body’s efficacy in its purpose. What is the body’s purpose? What do you think? A little puzzle for you daily practitioners, because I personally do not know what’s the answer, either to this puzzle or to that which has even Bikram stumped!

POSTURE #25

Spine-Twisting Pose

Ardha-Matsyendrasana

Now that every part of the body, including all areas of the spine, is flexed and warm, we can perform this very powerful manipulation, the spinal twist.

To begin: In a seated position, place the side of the RIGHT KNEE ON THE FLOOR, and bring your RIGHT HEEL TO TOUCH THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR LEFT HIP. Now LIFT THE LEFT LEG IN THE AIR, BRINGING IT OVER THE BENT RIGHT LEG, AND PLACE YOUR LEFT FOOT JUST TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RIGHT KNEE. This leg is bent at the knee, sole of the foot flat on the floor. Touch the outside corner of the right knee with your left heel.

Bring your right arm up and over to the left, then bring it down on the outside of your left knee, with the elbow pressing back against it. Take hold of the right knee with your right hand, grasping the kneecap firmly. (If you can’t reach the right knee, just keep pressure against the left knee with the elbow.)

Now put your left arm behind your back, palm facing out, and reach all the way around your body until you can touch or grasp the right thigh. In this way, we begin the twist. You may not be able to reach the thigh at this point; if not, simply place the left hand down on the floor behind you, and use it to support your body, keeping it upright.

Turn your head to the left and rotate your face, shoulders and torso to the left, twisting as much as possible. It is important to try to keep both buttocks and the right knee on the floor, and maintain a straight spine. Here, fully emptying the lungs in Normal Breathing facilitates the twist. As you exhale, try to twist around a little farther. Hold the posture for 20 seconds.

Unwind slowly, then reverse the legs and arms, and do the pose for 20 seconds on the other side. Here’s another technique that will help you twist farther: Before you turn, lift your upper body toward the ceiling, and try to lift the abdomen up and out of the pelvis, so you can twist more of the torso, including the abdomen when you turn.

After you’ve done the second side, rest in Savasana for 20 seconds.

Note: We do this posture only once.

Bikram’s Key
First, make sure the heel of the foot is touching the knee, not higher up on the thigh. Second, when you bring your arm over and across, place the hand so it, the knee and the heel are all touching at the same spot. Third, point the toes of the leg bent on the floor, heel touching the outside of the hip.

Benefits
This is the only posture that twists the spine from top to bottom, which increases circulation to all the spinal nerves, veins, and tissues, and improves the elasticity of the spine (it also helps open the hip joints). Spine Twisting relieves lower back pain and helps prevent slipped discs, rheumatism of the spine, kyphosis, scoliosis, cervical spondylosis and arthritis. It also calms the nervous system.

Let’s look at the image Bikram uses in his orange book.

A young Bikram in the Spine-Twisting Pose

A young Bikram in the Spine-Twisting Pose

This picture likely shows Bikram’s best expression of this Posture. Look at Bikram’s key – the first sentence says to

make sure the heel of the foot is touching the knee, not higher up on the thigh.

But look at the picture closely and you’ll see that in fact, Bikram has to keep his heel higher up on the thigh in order to execute this pose. Doing so keeps most of his weight on his tail bone, AWAY FROM THAT SMASHED KNEE. I suspect that his heel is touching his hand which in turn is in contact with the edge of the knee because I think he is also unable to keep the hand, the knee and the heel all touching at the same spot, as he recommends. Thirdly, he is not able to

point the toes

but is able to have the heel touching the outside of the hip. Pointing the toe stretches the front of the entire leg, and the patella is at the front of the knee. Doing so will therefore compromise the delicate balance achieved so far in the smashed knee.

The really fascinating thing is that he is still able to execute the Posture well enough to get most of its benefits. He started practicing early at age three (3). The earlier you start the more you bank its benefits that you can then draw upon to heal injuries, and age-related issues.

Now for the CAPS I’ve used in the above excerpt:

In a seated position, place the side of the RIGHT KNEE ON THE FLOOR, and bring your RIGHT HEEL TO TOUCH THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR LEFT HIP. Now LIFT THE LEFT LEG IN THE AIR, BRINGING IT OVER THE BENT RIGHT LEG, AND PLACE YOUR LEFT FOOT JUST TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RIGHT KNEE.

Basically, Bikram has switched the order in which this pose is to be performed. Instead of turning to the left he directs us to turn to the right. Why? I suspect because the right way is the hard way. And no, right and left are not political terms in the American sense. It merely pertains to an individual’s right hand side versus left hand side. Why? I don’t know. It’s only practiced once in the whole series. I have not yet developed enough proficiency in this Posture to understand it deeply enough to answer this question.

Think of it like this. If my proficiency in the entire Bikram’s Beginner Basic series as practiced in a studio setting is Z, then my proficiency in this particular pose is half of Z. As for practicing in this new manner, with switched sides and different goals and other changes yet to be determined, I have achieved hardly any experience at all. Ask those who are injured with twisted and broken bones who have taken the courage to practice every day since age 3 or so, and even they would not know what to say! Remember! Bishnu Ghosh died before Bikram could ask him his questions on this Posture #25. Bikram does not even know how long he is supposed to be teaching this Basic series, and when he is supposed to stop doing so. So he continues to the best of his ability, if not teaching then training others to teach the small amount he knows of his guru, Bishnu Ghosh’s mind.

I call it the Half-Fish pose because Matsyendrasana means the Fish Pose, Matsya is the Fish incarnation of Lord Vishnu, and Matsyendra, I think, somehow combines this incarnation with Lord Indra, Chief of Gods. Apparently he took birth on earth as a Fish, a mighty Fish, who dove deep into the ocean and brought up Mother Earth who had drowned in the evils of the creatures living upon her. Hindus typically look at this incarnation as proof that we humans evolved through a series of creatures, such as fish, to name one. I know this flies against the evangelical perspective, but then they want power right now, not in their next life, or in the next decade, or even in the next year. But then evangelicals are girls, grrrls, or any incarnation in between, all about power, not truth or wisdom or even mere knowledge. More importantly, Bikram likely doesn’t care for such distracting references. I just like to remind myself of my roots, sometimes.

In concluding I will add one thing that practicing daily in back-to-back challenges, including catching up missed classes by doing three classes per day for five or six days in a row, has done for me.

In 2012, around October – November I was seriously considering not renewing my annual membership at Bikram Yoga Richardson where I was practicing at the time. I was persuaded by the Studio Director, Yassi Maige, to continue for one more year. In November 2012 days before the national elections as I was walking in the local mall I slipped on a perfect circle of some white lotion spilled outside some shop I’ve never visited. I was wearing a red dress and my usual cork heeled sandals (about 2 to 2.5 inches high). Immediately, as if on cue, a woman from the store and some other people gathered around to help. I had the presence of mind to fall in such a manner that there was no free undie show, and no impact on any joints. I took the brunt of the injury on my left foot which twisted. In the few seconds that I was half kneeling on the floor they had time to insist on helping me in, including calling the management or its maintenance personnel to find out someone to clean the evidence. Got on my nerves! Fuck that shit! I declined, got up, ate some dessert, bought lingerie for bodycon gear, all per plan.

Looks like Yassi was prescient, you might say! I showed up for the 5:30 am class the next morning as usual, or close enough for government work. I can check my files but why bother! The first class I took a walking stick and kept it either just outside the room or next to my mat. Never had to use it. Never! I could stand on that left twisted foot that hurt like hell. One-legged postures were compromised somewhat, but not for long. By December 2012, I was back in form, to all intents and purposes, healthy and happy. Then came that compulsion to revisit that fucking Hare Krishna temple, aka, Kalachandjis, aka, ISKCon’s Dallas center. I attended long enough to experience that 80-20 breathing that I have written in detail elsewhere, that finally broke the power of Mantras and chants and led me to learning our entire business project plan by rote, wearing a fricking sari and pacing in our backyard. For a few months I could feel that area within the foot that was injured. Now I don’t even feel it. Its gone!

It was after this experience that I felt compelled to write all those blog posts about MORAL HAZARDS! Bunkum! If any of you still have those posts saved somewhere you will see that the one thing it does not include is any reference to Ayn Rand. The discussion is limited to religions, faiths, men and women. The focus was on blaming no one. Each party just wanted to be seen as a victim! This is the greatest evil practiced by ISKCon and its brethren! I quit that studio in April-May 2013, leaving about 6 months of membership unused, completed dehydrated by religious conflicts, generated by recurrent waves of combatants, all unknown to me then and now. They remain hidden to this day.

Roosh, Bikram’s Head to Knee Pose and Stretching Pose, & My Family

Alright, let’s look at that Ukrainian video from the other day, once again. At around 31 minutes into the interview, there’s a matchmaker who sort of puts everyone at ease and pulls them away from taking firm positions on an issue they don’t understand completely due to language or cultural barriers:

Towards the end of Roosh’s interview on Ukrainian television, you meet this nice lady who matches cultured and educated Western men with a decent and regular source of income, who seek a wife, but really a life partner with a capacity for understanding their work and supporting it with wisdom. Remember that a wife is not necessarily a life partner. She can be but she is not one automatically. She has to become this over time. This clarification is necessary at this point because an easy, in fact the easiest and oldest scam in the world, is where this need is used to gain converts to evangelical ideas – such as religions of the Book, commonly Judaism, Christianity and Islam – but really it is useful to propagate ideologies that rely on a potential convert’s weakness of mind. Ideologies that rely on force in some form or fashion where the ideologist is not focused, nor interested, in walking in the prospect’s footsteps.

In basing my solitary practice on Bikram’s third book published in 2007, hereafter referred to as the orange book, the difference between it and the way Bikram yoga is taught in the studios becomes apparent. The book is primarily focused on development of strength and clarity in the individual practitioner, while studio practice is geared to open communication among practitioners, a very feminine preoccupation. I hope to illustrate this principle in the description and discussion on Posture #23 and #24.

Let’s get to the next posture that is practiced differently from the studio version. I have used CAPS for phrases and words that I underlined twice in my copy of the book. Only Posture $23 is different. But I include both Postures #23 and #24, because it augments the point I made in the previous post, namely, that with a smashed knee Bikram has multiple considerations to keep in mind when practicing his postures.

POSTURES #23 AND #24:

Head to Knee Pose and

Stretching Pose

Janushirasana and Paschimotthanasana

This combination of poses creates a wonderful stretch in the sciatic nerves, which helps prevent and treat that common and painful condition, sciatica. It also improves the flexibility of the last five vertebrae of the spine, as well as the ankle, knee, hip, shoulder, elbow and wrist joints. When you stretch out over one extended leg in the first two parts of this Sequence, you will once again find that one side is more flexible than the other. As I said before, this just proves that you are human.

To begin: Sitting on the floor or on a mat, STRETCH YOUR LEFT LEG out diagonally so that your two legs form a 90-degree angle. BEND YOUR RIGHT KNEE and BRING YOUR RIGHT HEEL INTO THE GROIN AREA near the top of your right leg. LOCK THE RIGHT KNEE.

Raise both arms overhead and interlock your fingers. Tuck your chin into your chest and bend down over the outstretched leg. Move the arms and mid-body as one unit. Grasp the left foot firmly in both hands, with the fingers interlocked beneath the ball of the foot and the toes. The thumbs stay crossed under the toes. Try to lock the left knee, then bring the forehead to the knee. BEGINNERS MAY HAVE TO BEND THE LEG TO BRING THE FOREHEAD TO THE KNEE.. Press down with your forehead on the knee, keeping the grip on the foot and toes. EVENTUALLY, DOING THIS WILL ALLOW YOU TO LOCK THE KNEE.

Either way, pull the toes back toward you, with your chin tucked. Bend your elbows and bring them down to the floor. Bring your left elbow, shoulder and knee down closer to the floor by rolling your body slightly to the left of your outstretched leg. Stay here for 10 seconds.

Come up slowly, and then reverse the pose with the right leg extended, left leg bent. Use the same rolling action to bring your left elbow closer to the floor. Hold for 10 seconds. Then come up slowly and extend both legs straight out in front of you. Now we’re ready for Paschimotthanasana, Stretching Pose.

Raise both arms overhead, thumbs crossed, and recline backward to the floor. As soon as you touch, inhale deeply and do an immediate sit-up. As soon as you touch, inhale deeply and do an immediate sit-up. Take hold of your big toes with the FIRST TWO FINGERS OF EACH HAND, palms facing each other. Pull the toes toward you as much as possible. Wiggle your hips backward right and left a few times; that will help you reach forward a little farther. TRY TO LOCK BOTH KNEES. IF YOUR KNEES ARE LOCKED with the thighs tightly contracted, then lower your stomach to your thighs. IF YOUR KNEES STAY LOCKED, then lower your chest to your knees, keeping your back as flat as possible, chin up.

Now bend both elbows and try to pull your heels up off the floor. Eventually, you will be able to touch your forehead TO YOUR KNEES. Keep your knees locked, thighs tight. Stay here 20 seconds.

Come up slowly, then rest in Savasana for 20 seconds. Bring yourself back up with a sit-up.

Second Set: Repeat. Head to Knee Pose for 10 seconds on each side and Stretching Pose for 20 seconds. Then rest again for 20 seconds.

Bikram’s Key
As a beginner, you may not be able to lock your knees. No problem. Pull on the toes, and try to straighten your legs on the floor, chest up, back flat. If you feel a pull in the backs of your knees and legs, that’s good. That means you are stretching the sciatic nerves, thigh biceps and calf muscles.

Benefits
Besides all the stretching I describe above, the combination of Head to Knee Pose and Stretching Pose is also excellent for the immune and lymphatic systems, and increases circulation to the liver, spleen, pancreas, thyroid, thymus and intestines. It improves digestion and is good for allergies and arthritis. Stretching Pose also relieves chronic diarrhea by improving the circulation in the bowels.

Let’s look at an old photograph of Bikram as a young man doing Posture #23.

A young Bikram Choudhury in Head to Knee Pose

A young Bikram Choudhury in Head to Knee Pose

If you look closely you will see that he does not have his knee locked. At the same time he does not have his bent leg supporting the stretched leg, either. No point putting obstacles to his eventual goal. He is only using his upper body strength and his forehead to stretch his leg with that smashed knee. Don’t forget his smashed knee. It affected his proficiency even when he was young and had been practicing for a long time.

By the way, I think the animal skin he is sitting on is not that of a tiger but of a deer. I make this point here because I have heard envious practitioners make fun of him sitting on a tiger skin as the height of his arrogance and hubris. Just another way to pull down a true alpha male.

Now about those CAPS I have used in the passage:

STRETCH YOUR LEFT LEG out diagonally so that your two legs form a 90-degree angle. BEND YOUR RIGHT KNEE and BRING YOUR RIGHT HEEL INTO THE GROIN AREA near the top of your right leg. LOCK THE RIGHT KNEE.

This is opposite to the order in which this Posture is performed in a classroom setting. There you stretch your right leg and bend your left knee, and so forth. Why then does Bikram organize it in this way here? Doing so stretches and massages out the digestive tract as it turns upwards from the gut’s snaking coil. Smoothing this out removes any kinks at this crucial bend. I suspect that the appendix is also located somewhere close to this bend. Keeping this area free from knots and blockages is good practice, don’t you think?
Locking the bent knee engages the bent thigh muscles to keep the right knee pointed downwards, hopefully touching the floor. This configuration might incline the GI tract downwards enabling gravity to help with the movement of digested material in the correct direction.
So what’s the big deal with the order that Bikram proposes here? Well, precious-es, digested material travels from the right to the left. So first it needs to be pushed down to the right bottom end of the large intestine, before it can be pushed up and around, down the left side. Also I have noticed that I and most people get really tired at this point. Doing it in the order instructed in class will likely get crud stuck in some forgotten corner of the GI tract, unstuck, and moving in the correct fashion.

BEGINNERS MAY HAVE TO BEND THE LEG TO BRING THE FOREHEAD TO THE KNEE.

This is good and logical advice, but hard to remember when practicing with people who, being more flexible, can easily achieve this stage of the Posture. This is where you develop your mind strength to ignore the natural despair or envy you feel and really focus on what YOU can do in that moment. Remember that yoga works very slowly. Not all obstacles in your journey to health and happiness are physical in nature.

EVENTUALLY, DOING THIS WILL ALLOW YOU TO LOCK THE KNEE.

This logically follows from the previous statement. Only when you develop the perseverance to bring your forehead to your knee, irrespective of whether you can do so with a straight or a bent leg, can you then use this contact to push the knee downwards. As you increase this ability you will find that your leg will straighten, eventually to lock the knee.

Do I have a smashed knee? No, of course not. But I am very flexible, and all you practitioners of Bikram yoga have likely heard that his advice to flexible people is to practice his Beginner Basic series completely, every day. I think flexibility of body begins with flexibility of the mind. By this I mean, a sincere effort to look at someone else’s perspective. This attitude is simultaneously powerful and dangerous – powerful because of the deep insight it brings into one’s enemy’s mind but dangerous because of the vulnerability of this open-minded person to sheer evil from sources (either people or ideas) that they have no way to control at all. Such flexible-minded people have to practice daily – thus they maintain a inner stability that helps them assess and judge people they meet, known, unknown or as yet to be revealed, with greater accuracy. With practice this skill can be used even in cases where such a person does not know the language. In some ways this makes things easier, because when the mind is not engaged in understanding a language, all its senses are focused on other signals sent by the speaker, such as voice tone and volume, body movements and facial expressions.

In addition, I have accumulated proof that supports Bikram’s advice to flexible people: My brothers are all flexible, both in body and mind. None of them practice the entire Bikram’s Beginning Series every day. But the more they practice on a regular basis the more they gain in inner stability, and wisdom that reveals itself in their body and mind. So when I see my family exhibit suffering in any way, I know to suspect really evil shenanigans of the evangelical variety. In the years 2008 through 2012 as I gradually increased the intensity and regularity of my practice via back-to-back challenges, I noticed an increasing social pressure on me to not so much declare BUT DEFEND my practice. In conversations with fellow practitioners, exclusively women, I would find myself having to repeat ad nauseum reasons why their life style choices were not appropriate in my case. The more specific examples and illustrations I presented, the more they refused to understand. What’s telling is that they would persist in this behavior even when I made it clear that my actions were not meant for them or their situation. It highlights an unwillingness to control one’s own feelings when perceiving someone else seeking their SELF. This Self is not the self as is commonly understood. Here is what Bikram says about this Self, written with a capital S.

Myths and Madness:

Clearing Away Confusion about Yoga

1. Yoga is not a diet. I swear, I don’t understand the way people eat in this country. If you’re not eating like pigs, then you are eating like goats, munching raw foods or organic foods because you think it will make you healthy. But because of the shape most of your digestive systems are in, you can’t process that food anyway, especially raw food. If your engine is broken what difference does it make what of gas you put in your tank? I’ll talk more later about food and obesity; my point here is that eating some trendy California way or avoiding carbs isn’t a requirement or even relevant. I love to eat at McDonald’s, and my favorite food is cheesecake with blueberries on top. My students who know that bring it to me all the time. I love it – so don’t worry, yoga is not about eating one “right way.”

2. Yoga is not deprivation. No one’s asking you to give up all your worldly possessions and go sleep on the floor of a mud hut somewhere in the Himalayas. However you choose to live your life is perfectly all right.

You must give up some bad habits, though, to stop doing things that are wrong for you. Many of these things are simply habits of mind, or mudra , negative attitudes that are easy to fall into. Others are negative, harmful actions, toward others and yourself. Personally, I have never smoked anything, drunk any alcohol or had one cup of tea or coffee in my life. At my wedding, people wanted me to drink Champagne, but I didn’t taste it. I remember another time a student of mine offered me something to smoke at my birthday party.

“What the hell is this?” I asked, looking at the funny little cigarette.

He looked at me incredulously. “Oh my god, Bikram, you don’t smoke pot?”

I told him, “In India, the janitors, the people who sweep the streets, smoke this so they can get through their day and do their job. They call it ganja . Why do you want to smoke this?”

“But Bikram,” he said, “you don’t know what you’re missing!”

“Oh no,” I replied, “you don’t know what you’re missing by not living a clean, decent life.”

So you have some bad habits. So what? It’s no big deal. Change them. When you become a real yogi, and you start to feel what true health, energy and love of yourself and life are like, it will be easy to drop those things and walk away. Once you see the right way, it will be easy for you to leave the wrong behind. Imagine you see a cup of hot tea on a table in front of you. The cup is turned so the handle is on the far side of the cup, and you can’t see it. So you grab the cup, burn your hand, and then you see the handle. After this experience, are you going to hold the cup the same way next time, every time? No. So why would you continue to do yourself harm by indulging in bad habits? That makes no sense.

This is not a question of morality. It’s a duty, a responsibility. Your job is to keep your body clean and protect it from harm. This harm you must avoid also includes marking, tattooing or piercing the body. You see, when people do such foolish things, they are looking for change externally when they really should be looking internally. If I became president I would make tattoos illegal! It’s ignorant to ruin the divine beauty of your own body that way, and you have no right to do it. Just like you have no right to put cocaine in your body. Why? Because that body doesn’t belong to you; it’s the holy temple of your atma , the soul, or Spirit. You have no right to vandalize the body in these ways.

3. Yoga is not a religion. Listen, I come from one of the most religious countries that ever existed and I have never been to a temple to worship in my entire life. Why? Because I never believed in it. People look at statues, lifeless hunks of stone and plaster, and they pray to them, hoping that the statue is really listening to them – I just don’t buy it. And if this is all about God, why do so many people go to church, mosque or temple and then give money? Do you really think you can bribe God? What does God need money for, anyway?** Worst of all, religion has been misused throughout human history. *** Differences in religious beliefs, often amplified by differences in skin color, caste or ethnicity, have created walls between countries, between brothers and sisters and in our own hearts. That’s the biggest thing I’ve got against organized religion. My duty in this life is simply this: to break down walls between people and nations, men and women, East and West.

I worship in a different temple: my body.**** There is something inside this temple, an animating force that makes my flesh move and speak, that moves me toward my Karma Yoga. What is this mystical but everyday magic? It is the atma, the soul. You can also call it the Spirit, or the true Self. This is God, and God lives in the house of our bodies. We are all Gods and Goddesses. Getting down on your knees, wearing elaborate robes or building a $40 million church doesn’t bring you any closer to the Divine that lives within us all.
So when you ask me if I believe in God,***** I will never be able to answer with a simple yes or no. I am going to say, “Yes, I do, because I believe in myself, and I am God. I believe in you, too, because you are my God.” The only danger in this belief comes when we refuse to recognize everyone else as an expression of the Divine and see only ourselves that way. If you think you have more of God within you than anyone else, you’re in real trouble, my friend. And so is the world we live in. …

Asterisks (*) are my interjections.
** God does not need money but his followers and devotees and managers do! OR ELSE!
*** Thinking over this sentence in the light of all that I have discovered about faiths and religions I would rephrase this to say, “Worst of all, religion has misused human beings throughout history.”
**** I refer you to my series on my solitary practices and what I have discovered and recovered through those experiences.
***** I have never been asked this question more often than in Texas. Something in the air, maybe?

Now let’s look at an old photograph of Bikram as a young man doing Posture #24.

A young Bikram in the final Stretching Pose

A young Bikram in the final Stretching Pose

Take hold of your big toes with the FIRST TWO FINGERS OF EACH HAND, palms facing each other.

We use the index (used for pointing at things) and the middle finger to grab the big toes. There is nothing mentioned here about where the thumbs ought to be. In looking closely at the picture it is hard to tell how the thumb is positioned. My first thought was that an upright position will guide the forehead to the toes as directed by a Bikram instructor. But that is not the case here. Also notice that Bikram’s broad chest prevents him from grabbing the big toes in the manner commonly taught. His hands come in at an angle, and his feet are angled also. With some further thought I realize that what I had been instructed to do between the years 2008 through 2012 was aimed at changing my bone structure from someone who had a woman’s chest and hips widths to someone more girlish in figure. The same would apply to a man practicing in the studio also, though it would affect his chest dimensions more.

TRY TO LOCK BOTH KNEES. IF YOUR KNEES ARE LOCKED with the thighs tightly contracted, then lower your stomach to your thighs.

If you notice closely you will see that Bikram does not have the back of his knee in contact with the floor. His smashed knees prevent him from doing so, but the thighs are tightly contracted, keeping the knee joint as locked as it can get in his situation. Tight hamstrings developed from trying to move about with a smashed knee also prevents complete straightening of the leg.

For those of you with normal knees, this part will be hard if you have difficulty bending backwards, which I presume is the case with most stiff and strong people. Generally speaking, such people have spent a lot of time strengthening their core muscles with situps, pushups and all manner of crazy stuff. Now these very stiff abs will likely prevent you from lowering your stomach to your knees. The flat-to-slightly-concave curvature of the lower abs will be an obstacle to good contact with the thighs. The more you try to achieve this contact, without worrying about the rest of the stages, the better your lower GI tract will get massaged and thus enable smoother digestive functions. The smoother your digestive functions, the lesser toxin build up in your body, leading you to a healthier body, and hopefully a healthier life.

Eventually, you will be able to touch your forehead TO YOUR KNEES.

This is a huge change from instructions in a Bikram studio. In class and in the other two books, instructions clearly state to bring the forehead to the toes. But here it says to bring it to your knees. Doing it Bikram’s way as in the orange book enables you to keep the hour glass shape if you are a woman and a V-shape if you are a man. Doing it the way commonly taught by a Bikram teacher results in a constrained chest width, likely aimed at producing androgynous figures.

Returning to the topic of the Bikram books I gave to my family members to practice in privacy, none of them were this orange book. Not surprising, since I actively resisted buying this book until last year or so. Among the reasons was a fellow practitioner’s comment that this book did not have anything new or different from studio instructions. ON THE CONTRARY. THIS BOOK IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM BOTH BIKRAM STUDIO INSTRUCTIONS AND THE TWO OTHER BOOKS BIKRAM PUBLISHED. IT’S WRITTEN FOR THOSE WANTING TO DEVELOP MENTAL CLARITY THROUGH SELF-KNOWLEDGE.

The other two books are aimed at women. With what purpose? I’m not clear on this. Every time I’ve tried to pin it down, it slips identification. The closest thing I’ve come to is the concept of sacrifice of the Self in service to others, whoever and however they may be defined.

Coming back to that lady matchmaker on Ukrainian television, there is a strong bias against her for her secular approach to solving a real world problem. If she would sugar coat her services with some faith-based mumbo-jumbo, her task would become easier. She would not have to face questions like she does on the show, such as longevity of the match arranged, the system’s attraction to sexual predators, things that would not be asked of matches arranged within a religious community. The biggest obstacle she faces is the squeamishness of the Western mind to paying someone to procure a wife for oneself. Money being exchanged in such a transaction somehow diminishes the dignity of marriage from the ideal of a marriage automatically conferring a soulful communion upon the spouses. As if women marry men for altruistic reasons! They marry men to secure resources now and in the future. Men still marry with the aim of securing her exclusivity in fair exchange. So this side of the equation hasn’t changed. I guess this type of necessary social service without the cloak of some faith or higher purpose, is too much truth for a woman’s delicate sensitivities.